Dear Employee,
I don't understand why you struggle with the concept of
"flushing the toilet" and "washing your hands"! It's pretty simple. Let me explain it to you...
Flushing The Toilet
Once your done finishing your business (and I don't mean answering emails on the smartphone), it is expected of you to wipe then press that large shinning silver
knob/button hanging against the cubicle wall behind you. Once you do that,
a waterfall inside the toilet will wash your stomach sins away into the tunnel of a thousand
tales.
Now for part two of your lesson; washing your hands, you must proceed to the water basin after you have successful flushed, turn the tap on and in
circular motions, scrub your hands together under the faucet with the soap you will attain from the dispenser hanging next to the basin (do I need to explain how to use the soap dispenser too?). This action will cleanse away the stress of all the hard work that happened previously in the cubicle. (again, by work i don't mean business, if you know what I am saying).
Finally, under no
circumstance, should you ever engage in touching me after leaving the cubicle
and not washing your hands, unless you want to be sucker punched in the face.
So, FLUSH the freaking toilet because I am sick of waking into the toilets
with waste waiting there to greet me. Kind of a “Hello, you need to flush me
before you use me” situation.
Kind Regards
Your HR
